sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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