Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
