It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So many bounce houses so little time
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
