this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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