she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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