I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Farmville is her only friend.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
