I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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