I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
