ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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