are you still at the devil's house?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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