White coat. Heels.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
