Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize