This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
