The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
