the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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