There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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