Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
