WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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