kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
