Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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