I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
