why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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