I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
