franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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