He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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