But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
