i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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