dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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