Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize