I think i peed on brittanys purse
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
