omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
