We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
