so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So many bounce houses so little time
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
