i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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