ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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