I didn't shave. On purpose
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
