Cold hands, warm shart.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
