Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
