what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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