He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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