My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
