The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
