I bet he comes in French.
he thought i was a dude.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
