Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
