My nipple is on Facebook.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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