what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
