dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize