she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
