The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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