i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
