Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
