why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
