i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
