I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
