I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Randomize
