Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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