I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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