we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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