Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
