Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
