i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
