fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
