Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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