i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
