i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
