Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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