That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
