woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
