So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize